Deep down, every parent wants to raise children that are strong, courageous, and bold enough to take on any challenge that life may bring.
No one wants to see their kids break down when situations don’t go their way or not have the innate ability to find a solution when one door closes. Especially us dads. We want our kids to possess the natural instinct to be quick on their feet. To be able to find a way or create one. That is a reflection of good parenting. It is the fruit of depositing years and years of wisdom into your son or daughter.
But even after all of the talks, the advice, the warnings, it is not surprising when that day comes that in the middle of one of your well crafted speeches, your beautiful seed looks at you with that “let me school the old man” look on their face and says “I got this!” It can even happen during the adolescent years while teaching how to ride a bike or throw a ball your little man or angel or monster, whatever it may be, looks back at you and screams “Dad, I got this.”
It can be paralyzing to a parent to hear those words.
Often you don’t even have a comeback for it. If you were quick enough, you would say “Baby, no you don’t!” It is almost a “how dare they think they know how to do this better than I do. I created this! I’m old school! I was doing this before you were even born.”
Based on the amount of times you hear that phrase, at some point even the most endearing parent will step back with a smirk on their face and say “ok.” Because you have come to the conclusion that you are observing a child that you have maxed out on constructive dialog and now you’ve got to bring in the big gun of experience to teach this thick headed child what words can’t. So you step back, already knowing what the outcome will be, so life can become your child’s new coach.
The seed of pride inside of the child and the adult will push us into realms of over self confidence that makes us think we know better than the teacher. The arrogance born from the seed of Adam and driven by the pride of life that at times will let us hear God, read his word, even observe the warning signs he places in front of us yet still we find ourselves telling God by our choices and actions “God, I got this.”
Just like a loving father who knows already the outcome, He steps back and allows life to be our coach. Here’s one thing I’ve learned, family: every lesson ain’t necessary. The observance of the warning signs should be enough at some point in our lives that the tough love of letting us bump our heads is no longer necessary.
Some bruises you carry forever.
So after many hits and failures and the whispers from the proverbs saying “I told you so..” I have come to the conclusion..
“I DON’T got it!”
… and I am totally okay with that. I don’t know the right road to choose. I don’t have all the answers as a father. I am not strong enough to have certain friends or choose certain jobs; no matter how profitable they are. I don’t have power on my own, I need your help God. How many times does God have to step back and show you tough love because you think you can fix you?
Save yourself the forty year journey in the wilderness, baby. The promised land is for kids that need the Father’s help. And there’s not a father out there that doesn’t love being needed… including the father of your soul.